Different Expectations

I remember none to fondly the growth charts. At Eric's every visit the pediatrician would tell me he had fallen further off the chart for weight and height. Eventually after every test in the book I stopped listening. He is just small. Perhaps he will grow later and catch up to his age group or not. I try to get him to eat as much as possible but with his particular eating issues sometimes it just has to be okay.

I've been reading about orphanage delays in following the standard development of babies here. Now can you really expect a baby with no one coaxing them to crawl, play, eat or even clap not be behind? They walk later and meet other milestones later with no encouragement. But one milestone it seems they can never catch up on is the american growth charts. We know that the average 18 year old girl should weigh 125# and be 65" tall. Now thats just the 50% average for american children. (CDC chart) But by the chinese growth charts the average 18 year old weighs 112# and is 62" tall. So at some point the charts are different. Some adoptive parents have their child always falling off the charts and I've been there. But it the correct charts are used perhaps those particular milestones would be closer.

Malnutrition
SWI (Social Welfare Institiutes) are not the best place to grow up. We've all seen Annie, right? This is something I know we all worry about. I think I'm prepared, not. Can you imagine caring for 600 children? The SWI's are split into different age groups. Baby houses, elementary and then teenage. Caregiver ratios can be as low as 20:1 in the baby houses, lower with older kids who need less care. Each province has several SWI's and not all are allowed to place children so most of those children will never find homes. But of the SWI's that do allow adoptions they vary in quality of care. The toddlers and older are fed on a schedule and everyone gets exactly the same amount of food on their plate. Reports from some travelers say they even weigh the food. Children are given exactly enough. If you don't eat quickly someone else will finish yours and seconds are not possible. So many of the children come to us at what we consider underweight. The great news is most children will catch up once they are given the proper nutrition.

Wrong Weights
Don't expect the information we receive on our referral to be correct. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. One fact that seems to be incorrect on most children at pickup is weight. The kids are layered in clothes to stay warm and show them they are loved. I hear the "clothing police" will walk up to you on the street and pull up your child's pant leg to check how many layers they are wearing. If you love your child the correct number is more than 4 layers. In summer the little ones still wear a couple of layers and are sweating profusely when they meet their new parents. Now I'm not sure how to merge this with the fact that its okay to have them in 5 layers but their privates are exposed in split pants but that's how its done. When the children are weighed it is with all clothes still on which would show a different weight than when they get home. Our pediatricians strip the kids before weighing. I've heard several reports that the child actually weighed less than the reported weight from 1 year before.

Potty Training
Children are potty trained on a schedule. Thats not how most parents I know do it but we can work with it. They are taken to the potty in a group a exactly the same times every day and the children squat and do all their business right away. If you haven't seen a picture of a squat toilet I'll try to find one. Only the fancy hotels have western toilets. So parents are told their child is potty trained and the SWI means they are but only the schedule way. Several parents have written about walking down the street in China and their child just stops and squats on the sidewalk or wherever, including the hotel room corner. I think we'll bring pullups and stay close to the hotel just in case. ;o