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Today I joined a different kind of mile high club. This club includes all parents who have flown with a baby and a toddler for more than 10 hours. The first 4 are no problem. Takeoff then a nap. It's what happens after the nap that gets difficult. I packed a bag of toys just for the airplane for Joseph, including a gameboy. He didn't want the kids meal or to stay in his seat. Nothing like a temper tantrum after only 2 hours. He doesn't want the brothers to show him how the gameboy works. It's 5:06 China time now. 6 hours into our 14 hour flight. I woke up sick this morning and had to just power through it to get on the plane. Jewel took another long nap just now. D went to sleep after Joseph dosed off. So I was woken to Joseph yelling neow neow (pee pee) at me with Jewel asleep on my lap. Soon we will be home and I can take my medicine and go to bed. I don't want to leave D in the lurch on the plane. Better to have me at half strength than not at all.

7pm China time
Did you know if someone reclines their seat quickly the jolt shuts the laptop causing the bootleg Chinese movie to have to restart Dumbo at the beginning? It does.

Eric has decided he will not use an airplane toilet. And managed to keep that vow until Tulsa. 14 hour flight and a 2 hour flight. Of course when we landed in Chicago from Hong Kong he had to run to a bathroom.

We have arrived in Tulsa! Stopping to freshen up before leaving the gate since we are expecting a welcome crowd. Our time in China has been full of many emotions but coming home is so very welcome. When I turned my phone on in Chicago, after a month off, I had hundreds of emails and 20 voicemails from little D's school informing me he was absent. Then the last few telling me he was now failing all his classes and had missed more days than allowed per semester. I guess the attendance office wasn't informed by the assistant principal. We knew we would need to attend an appeals meeting to get his credits. It's strange that his school is so big one hand doesn't know what the other is doing.

Shenzhen Friday 11-11-11

Shenzhen Friday 11-11-11

We have arrived in Shenzhen and are checked into the Holiday Inn. The very small room cost more than the spacious room we just left. That just goes to show the difference in hotels even in the same chain.

All the paperwork is done! Flying out on Monday saved us enough money to pay for the 2 extra nights of hotel fees and we get to spend a little time in Joseph’s hometown.

The visit to Joseph's orphanage was interesting as was his behavior during the tour. At first he seemed excited to show us around. When he got to a room they said was his bedroom he kept saying no it was down a couple more doors. Then he was also confused about another room they said he used. But at least we were allowed in. Some SWI’s will not allow any visits. By the end of our visit he was sticking close to us and not nearly so interested in running ahead. Maybe he was worried? He said goodbye to the ayi’s and other workers and got in the van without a look back.

Guangzhou Tuesday 11-8-11

Guangzhou Tuesday 11-8-11
　
Carrefour grocery store is the French owned version of Wal-Mart. We decided to catch a cab today to buy some supplies. The drizzly rain wasn’t stopping us. And neither was the first cab we got into at the hotel when the cabbie held up a sign saying “reserved” and we had to get out. Didn’t think to much about it at the time but later realized this should have been a sign. Our hotel found us another cab and we were off. Carrefour is only about 3km up the road but way to far and dangerous for us to walk with 2 littles. We didn’t want to have to keep up with the strollers so Jewel was in the Boba and Joseph was in the “hip hammock” with D. Shopping was fun. I did limit the shopping to only one bag since we had to get it back to the hotel. But then….. Walking out to the street in the drizzle D tried to get a taxi. Hum. The cabs wouldn’t stop. Well maybe they were full? Most of them did have passengers already. Then we noticed the empty taxis did stop in a different area so D moved over there. And the few empty taxis started stopping where he had been. ??? So back to the first location. No cabs stopping. Its raining harder now and there are less empty cabs and more Chinese people coming out of the store and even they are having to wait several minutes. We regrouped and tried two different waiting places with half the group each. Thinking maybe they didn’t want to stop for such a large group? No. Upon further reflection the bellman had said something quietly about the taxi not wanting to take us since it was a short trip, 10Yuan. But they weren’t even stopping to see where we needed to go. That’s right. Our first experience with direct racism. We have been so privileged in our lives not to have dealt with this before. After probably 30 minutes D got one taxi to finally stop and when he heard when we needed to go he closed his door and drove off. More waiting in the rain. When I was waiting by myself with Jewel in the Boba one stopped and I showed him a 50 Yuan and got in waving frantically for everyone else to come. He tried to say no and I just showed him the 50 again and wouldn’t get out. ADVICE Carrefour is to close to Holiday Inn Shifu to get a taxi in the rain. Don’t go without alternate planning.

Guangzhou Monday 11-7-11

As usual when I try to add photos the words I have written go away. So here are the words. For pictures go to Shutterfly.com and our name is adoptinginoklahoma. The password is China  After we return home I will be taking the shutterfly account down so you better look now. If you need more instructions on Shutterfly leave a comment and I'll help.

Guangzhou Monday 11-7-11

TB test results are today. They injected into a small site and now, after 48 hours, the exam clinic checks for a reaction. Swelling above a certain size would indicate a need for a chest x-ray. If that is also positive then 6 months of medication before Joseph could leave China. But don’t worry, his arm barely shows the spot.
　
After the TB check the rest of our day was free. We shopped on the island a little. The boys were invited into a badminton game that they seemed to enjoy. The parks in China are full of elders playing instruments or sports. There is also exercise equipment and even a track in many parks. Physical fitness is just part of life here. A senior at the badminton mentioned how poorly my daughter was playing. This was after asking if I played and when I said no he said, “Yes, you are to fat to play badminton.” I didn’t tell little D about being mistaken for a girl for the 3^rd time until we were safely away. LOL
　
When we had decided to head back we ran into some friends from the forum that we had been seeing at every appointment. Karen (the mom) is here with her daughters 14? & 11?, and her son 9?. They are adopting two 3 year old boys with limb differences. He husband had to stay home. I can’t imagine how difficult some times must be for her as the only adult. After deciding we would all go back to our hotel and get Pizza Hut off our group went. Ordering the pizza was a fiasco. I tried calling the order in and the phone guy didn’t speak English so transferred me to another phone line. After the second try I got an English speaker that took my order. The problems arose when he said that someone would be calling me back to verify my order. The call back person didn’t speak any English so the conversation went something like this. Me: Yes, Pizza Hut. Yes, 350 Yuan, Yes, 5 pizzas. Him: (Chinese) I repeated my end of the conversation and he hung up. Were pizzas actually coming? I decided to risk walking the few blocks to the Pizza Hut we had discovered the night before to check on our order. No, of course call ins go to a different place. After many tries I did find one waitress willing to call to check if pizzas were coming for us. No, but now they were.
　
I thought we attracted crowds before, but with all 12 (3 adults) of us it was like being in the circus. And not always in a good way. When leaving the HI Shifu to walk Karen and her group back to the island D and little D ran back to the room for the camera. The rest of us didn’t realize how vulnerable we were. It started like before, with just a curious couple. But in crowded China a mob quickly forms. E and Karen’s two eldest were separated from the group, outside the mob. I could see them and they were safer than the rest of us. Karen brought a side by side twin stroller so her two new sons attract a lot of attention. Twins are lucky but her boys have visible limb differences. In the US it is considered rude for adults to stare. Not in China. The mob was probably 20-30 people surrounding us by this time and we couldn’t move. I had both our strollers and no way to put both. E was outside the mob and couldn’t help. When the grandfatherly man who had originally started asking us about the children in the beginning reached down to touch Jewel’s cheek he also slapped her. Yes, slapped her. On purpose. Although the Chinese treat their kids so carefully most the time, they do have some different cultural beliefs. I think since Jewel was calmly laying back he was maybe getting her to liven up? I started yelling and that was the end of that. I started pushing both strollers and called E into the crowd to help. Then we just barreled through the group. They followed us maybe 50 feet until it was obvious we were going back inside the hotel. And a few minutes later D & D showed up. Missing all the excitement. I would like to say the mob wouldn’t have happened had D & D been there but a similar mob had occurred at the Safari Park on Sunday when we were all together. But I won’t be going out with Karen’s group without more adult help in the future.

We headed back to the safe island and shopped a little. Then little D, Jewel and I got a taxi back to the hotel for dinner and bed. She has been so happy tonight. Babbling and crawling on the floor. Crawling over D’s stretched out legs and rolling from stomach to back too. Every day she learns more and opens up more. We come home in a week and if little D has anything to say about it she will be walking by then. Joseph still prefers D but today with encouragement did acknowledge that I was giving him something a few times. On the stairs coming from the island D was getting all the strollers up and down the stairs and I had Joseph’s hand. Under his duress I might add. I tried to get him to walk down the stairs holding my hand. He refused. He wants to be carried all the time we are out or as a second choice he will ride in the stroller. I gently encouraged him to walk down each step and at each step he said no. Finally once all the strollers were over D was going to come back and I said, “No. Goodbye Baba.” Once Joseph realized it was me or we would stay on the stairs he changed his mind. Stubborn just like our other boys were at 4. Language skills are doing great. A good part of the time we all know exactly what the other is wanting. Joseph says about 10 English words now and he has been giving D Mandarin lessons. That’s great when you think he just met us 5 days ago!

When we Skype he is speaking to the family too. The voice he is using when skyping is very very soft. He says Ni Hao (Hello. Pronounced KNEE HOW) to you guys and Goodbye.

Guangzhou Sunday 11-6-11

Sunday 11-6-11

I’m not exactly sure what’s with 9:30am but that’s what time Helen always wants to pick us up. Today we planned a trip to the Safari Park I had heard so much about. The drive was about 45 minutes from the Holiday Inn Shifu. The park does not allow any outside food or drinks and they check your bags. We lucked out because ours was hanging on the back of the stroller and just looked like part of it. So the littles got to keep their snacks.

It was a nice zoo park with a drive through section we took a train through. The walk through section was also fun. Our group was supposed to meet at a certain entrance 3 hours after the train ride. You know how hot it is in Florida in the summer? This was just as bad. I felt like I could almost drink the air. Yesterday while on the island I managed to find some short sleeve shirts for both littles and I was so glad today. Little D was talking about finding some scissors to make cut offs from his jeans. Despite the heat everyone had a good time. Little D, E and I even got to pet a Koala bear! He felt like a stuffed animal with a kind of scratchy fur. One the way home Jewel fell asleep holding Little D’s Koala hat.

After a rest in the room we headed out to the pedestrian street to find some dinner. A Pizza Hut was spotted but E was afraid to eat there after the bad pizza at Lucy’s. I told him I had spoken to another family at the medical exam who said it was good and he reluctantly agreed. Then he proceeded to eat 2 people’s shares before anyone noticed and stopped him. You can tell he had been missing his pizza. We listed what we missed most and our pets, washer/dryer and the ability to drive to wherever you want topped the list. As well as several different USA restaurants.

We have stumbled on a great fix for the littles. Every night after dinner we fix them a instant noodle bowl. Yum. I am however sick of noodles. Or at least that kind. I’ll have to go to the Chinese market to see what brands they carry. The noodles look like ramen noodles but don’t taste like them.

Guangzhou Saturday 11-5-11

Guangzhou Saturday 11-5-11
　
Medical exams were today. Helen picked us up at the hotel at 9:30am for the drive. The exams are on Adoption Island so we almost could have walked. Another CAWLI family came into town last night so we are kind of a group now. They need to follow the same USA paperwork path we do. We were the first two families to arrive at the medical exam center but many families came in after us. The aisles were crowded with a few strollers and many parents holding children. The first test room was ENT. Examiner looked inside their ears, nose and throat. He squeaked a rubber duck behind heads to check that they could hear. Looked in their throats and eyes and back to the line for the next exam room. Next was weight and height. Back to the line. (See a pattern?) Next exam without shoes and looked under Jewel’s diaper. (checking to see she was a girl?) Do we know their special medical needs? Back to line for Joseph’s TB shot. They said to D “Hold his arm very tightly.” Joseph didn’t even flinch. Why would a child who has gotten monthly blood transfusions for years worry about one little needle?
　
We picked up clean laundry from a store named Jordan’s who is owned by who else but Jordan. A trip to the wholesale market was planned but I was feeling a little under the weather so back to the hotel we go. Jewel and I napped while D and the boys tried the pool here. Burrr. Still to cold for them. So today finished with just hanging around the rooms, dinner and bedtime. Not a very exciting day, sorry.

Guangzhou Friday 11-4-11

Guangzhou Friday 11-4-11
　
Friday our only appointment wasn’t until 2:30 so we had the morning free. Joseph’s Chinese passport is applied for at the police station just like Jewel’s was in Nanchang. Then we are done with the Chinese paperwork. In the eyes of the Chinese government both children are part of our family now. Now we have to get the American paperwork done before they will be allowed in the country. This will take a few days and be finished hopefully on Wednesday, 11/9.

The clothes we brought for Joseph are way to hot. So today instead of walking along more of the pedestrian street we went the other direction, into real China. I was hoping to find a row of children’s clothing and shoe stores. We did find a few but its November and they are only selling long sleeve shirts just as thick as the ones we brought. We will try elsewhere Saturday. Joseph picked out some crayons, coloring and sticker books for us to take to tomorrow’s medical exam appointment. I have heard that sometimes you are stuck there for hours so trying to prepare just in case. He did great in the stroller looking around and seeming to enjoy not walking. Jewel didn’t even fall asleep in her stroller. She was busy watching so many things.

We got back to the hotel a little later than I wanted to for naptime. I got both littles in bed for nap and D ran down to the McD’s we saw on the pedestrian street. I was planning on getting them up at 2pm in time to eat a bite before we had to leave at 2:30. Wow was Joseph MAD! They told me at the orphanage they have nap from 12-1:30 whether or not they sleep. So this should have given him enough time to wake up on his own. It did not. After getting him out of bed he threw a traditional screaming hissy fit. Refused to eat anything and had to be put in the stroller to get downstairs. Continued to tantrum in the van and wouldn’t answer the guide about what was wrong. But right before we arrived at the police station he calmed down and became his usual smiling self. Even ate a snack while we waited.

In the meantime Jewel was just watching this with wide eyes. She is not always the angel I maybe portray. She hates her diaper changing with a vengeance and screams murder every time. Getting clothes on or off is not much better. And although she enjoyed the baby bath tub in Nanchang, she has decided that the big tub is evil and she fights against every drop of water or soap used. He development is nothing short of a miracle. Little D plays with her, practicing her standing and balance every day. After only 5 days she can stand with support and is trying to take steps. She will also allow us to sometimes set her on the floor next to us with a toy instead of always needing held. I see now what other families mean when they say it feels like this child has been in your family forever. Only 5 days? Seriously?

Guangzhou Thursday 11-3-11

Guangzhou Thursday 11-3-11

As a family of six I think its important that I mention how long it takes to get everyone ready to go out now. Minimum of 2 hours and that’s with 2 of the kids getting themselves ready with little to no assistance. But I had forgotten how long packing a diaper and toddler bag takes.
　
Today we went back to the Civil Affairs office for more paperwork. We had interviews about why we wanted to adopt and more signatures. I think Guangdong province had asked more questions than Jiangxi province did. I am MUCH happier with our guide and that makes a big difference.
　
Our guide picked us up in the van at 9:30am for the paperwork and dropped us off on Shamien Island (AKA Adoption Island). We needed to drop off some laundry. I sure do miss even the washer we had in Beijing that took 3 hours to wash one small load and one full day to line dry. With Jewel in the Boba baby carrier we walked around the island for a little while. Joseph has selective hearing just like all 4 year olds. You can say his name 10 times and he will only look once. He knows when you want him to come over most of the time he just chooses not to. Today was the perfect example. He didn’t want to hold Mama’s hand and kept pulling away from Baba or refusing to walk. So we carried Jewel and put Joseph in the Boba. It is designed to carry children Joseph’s size on your back while hiking for long distances. It was however hot and Dustin didn’t much care for the heat of two bodies. Joseph must not have minded though since he fell asleep. We stopped at a store on the island and bargained for two strollers. I had been told we could borrow them from the hotel but the hotel didn’t have any not in use. And we will need them in the Chicago airport anyway. Jewel does not sleep in our arms only in her crib so we got her one that lays down and she went right to nap as well.

Lunch was in order by then. We decided on Lucy’s which serves a kind of American food. I told E that pizza in China has ketchup most times or other ingredients he might not like. But you know him, he had to argue and insist. When the pizza came it was nothing but complaints that it wasn’t like our local pizza. It is so hard to get through to that boy sometimes. The rest of us enjoyed our hamburgers and club sandwiches. The littles even woke up enough to eat something.

Our short walk back was made much more enjoyable by the strollers. There is a high pedestrian bridge that is not stroller friendly that we had to carry them up and down. Then we were off the island and on the mainland shopping streets. Walking through the pet market and the herb market wasn’t bad although we had been warned. E didn’t like seeing the kittens for sale but mostly it was fish and supplies. The store fronts are all little mom and pop places that are as wide as a garage door and about as deep. The shopping areas are grouped together. For example, all the fish stores are together and all the hardware stores are in a row. Must make it easier to comparison shop. I haven’t found the vendors to aggressive. But after having been initiated in Beijing I’m a hard sell.

Dinner was found during happy hour in the executive lounge. I wonder what the businessmen in there having drinks think of our family? Oh well, we paid the same amount for our room as them. Actually twice as much since we have two rooms. And the girls who work in the room love us. We spent several hours with them after arriving Wednesday while waiting for our rooms to be ready. They are now our “go to” girls. We don’t have to go back down to the front desk chaos anymore. They checked us in there, helped with get the second room readied later, make copies of passports since our were unacceptable and in general are a great resource. Tonight they even helped communicate with Joseph. I think they find our family much more enjoyable than those stuffy businessmen.

Is he a monk?

Guangzhou Wednesday 11-2-11
　
Many honest moms have shared that fear of not recognizing their child. Despite our best efforts some families do not get updated photos for months before traveling and this is a normal worry. Especially for us moms who worry about every little thing. I wasn’t worried about not recognizing Joseph like I was Jewel. His brilliant smile and the fact that our photos were only a few months out of date so this should not have been a problem.
　
We arrived at the civil affairs office at 2pm with our guide, Helen. She told us to make ourselves comfortable and we chose a quiet corner. The room only contained one other family. Guangdong province and Jiangxi province are two of the largest adoptive provinces. But it is not common for families to meet their children on any day other than Monday. Immediately after sitting down Helen said, “Come meet your son Mama.” D and I jumped up and walked a few feet around the corner and there was a boy I had never seen coming through the door. This boy was looking up at the woman holding his hand while walking out of a curtained room. And he was BALD as a cue ball. I was speechless. Then he turned his head and smiled that huge smile of his and I knew it was our Guangbo. Him and his escort came the few feet between us with the Chinese adults all saying “go to your Mama”. I would have chosen a meeting with less pressure on him to join our family on the couches. I gave him a purple stretchy rubber lizard toy that I had brought for him and he was terrified of it. Not a great start. Then I wasn’t even allowed to sit down with him but instead was pulled away to do paperwork right away. When I was allowed to return to the family D and Joseph were playing Angry Birds on his Iphone. Much better liked than the lizard toy. Then we were rushed out to the van and returned to the hotel with a child I had barely met.

　
He is very happy and smiles all the time. He told our guide on the way home he had been with a foster family for the last year and he liked them but they did not like him and he did not want to return to them. So I guess that answers many of my questions about his foster mom. You would have expected some resistance to these strangers at least at bedtime. But he doesn’t seem to be anything but happy to be with us so far. We were given a copy of his schedule and advised to keep him on it. Well that’s a great idea. If we didn’t have appointments scheduled. And if his nap time was anywhere close to Jewel’s. And no I don’t think we are going to be waking him up at 5am. I don’t care what the schedule says, 5am is still bedtime. But we are going to try to keep his mealtimes as regular as possible.

If anyone wonders who took care of Jewel while we were busy I have a funny story for you. Little D was going to use the video camera and E was going to take still photos. But what to do with Jewel? I asked little D if he would wear Jewel in the Boba baby carrier and knowing how important it was he agreed. When we arrived at the Civil Affairs office little D put on the Boba and Jewel before we went inside. (Sometimes your child is waiting as soon as you walk in.) The doorman took one look at little D's hair and baby carrier and asked the guide if he was a girl or boy? He had never seen a boy carry a baby! I thought it was the carrier confusing the doorman, but no it was carriying the baby in any fashion.  Which just shows how grown up little D has become. He just laughed it off, knowing that being a man has nothing to do with who you carry but how you step up when needed.

Guangzhou Wednesday 11-2-11

Guangzhou Wednesday 11-2-11
　
When last we saw our hero he was fighting the villain while our poor heroine was tied to the railway tracks with a train coming towards her!
　
Well ok, maybe this just sometimes seems like I’m writing an serial adventure story with daily plots and crisis’s. The fact is our story is exciting and boring at the same time. Tuesday’s cliffhanger was left off with us waiting for the train to Guangzhou. And then nothing. Sorry. We have been super busy. Tuesday we stayed in our rooms until 2pm, thanks late checkout, then walked around town until Maggie picked us up at 4:30 for the 15 minute ride to the train station. They did have a regular waiting room and we found a VIP paid lounge also. With Jewel we were even more than usual the object of many bored people’s stares. I had Angela write me a note about why were are in China and that we are adopting 2 children from the orphanages and promise to love and care for them. I showed the note to the woman waiting on the next couch and she promptly shared the information with others in the VIP lounge. Then we were not only subject to stares but also thumbs ups and comments from English speakers about “good parents and thank you.” ADVICE If traveling to adopt, have your first guide write a note. It was very helpful more than once. We boarded the train early, again because of the VIP lounge passengers get to board early, and got our luggage settled. This train was an older model but we liked it better. 3 of the large suitcases fit in the above compartment where on the other only 2 fit. And little D’s bed didn’t squeak on this train. We made a bed at the end of the aisle for Jewel who was now past bedtime and very ready for bed. Our next compartment neighbors also had a baby. I shared our note with them and found all 4 adults were deaf. Interesting. Special needs are treated differently in China and I was surprised. These people were doing just fine and sleeping in the 1^st class section. Good for them.
　
The train had several stops and around midnight we unhitched and hitched up probably a dozen times. Clank, bump and jerk. I was the only one in our car who didn’t sleep through it. Including Jewel. She is just a great baby. Once she is in bed that’s it until morning. And her nap is the same. Although, like E, she does not like to be rocked to sleep but laid down in the crib and goes right to sleep no matter what is going on in the room around her.
　
Connie was scheduled to pick us up at the Guangzhou East train station at 6:29am. While our guide Maggie was working desperately to save her tip at the last minute she called Connie to verify our pickup. Connie asked to talk to me and said her mother was in the hospital and instead her friend Helen would be our guide and be picking us up. Our train was almost 1 hour late but there was Helen with a large sign in English with our names on it. Perfect. She grabbed one of the 5 large suitcases and wheeled out of the station no nonsense with her charges following closely behind. Once in the van we were given a hand written itinerary of our daily meetings and another list of the fees due to the different government offices. Directions on how to get to the bank from the hotel and do we have any questions? This was exactly what we needed after the last guide fiasco. The Holiday Inn Shifu did not have our adjoining rooms ready since check in is after 2pm and it was 8am I don’t blame them. The trade fair is a huge event that takes place twice a year in Guangzhou and most hotels are booked solid. I had booked us rooms on the executive floor where there is a lounge open 24 hours a day with breakfast until 10:30 am and happy hour snacks 5:30-7:30 nightly. I suggested we wait up there until the rooms were ready and the front desk thought that was a wonderful idea. It will later turn out to be one of the best decisions made at this hotel. Little D and I had to wander out into the pedestrian shopping street directly attached to the hotel exit to find the bank. Our fees need to be paid in Yuan and although the hotel does exchange money they cannot exchange the amount we need by 2pm TODAY! That’s right we will meet Joseph at 2pm! I think this is deserving of its own post.
　
Advice If you have your in province guide call the hotel a day or two in advance they will have all your money waiting for exchange to save hassle.